Tired of tinsel? Here’s a quick read to make you chuckle (or chuck the wrapping paper), my interview, originally posted on the The Naughty Siren blog on November 27:
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Death at a Funeral. Because British people are always funny. Dead British people? Hysterical.
Dazed and Confused. Reminds me of home.
Steel Magnolias. Dolly Parton + Sally Field = greatness.
LA Confidential. This movie is good on so many levels, but the scene where Russell Crowe kisses Kim Basinger on the forehead? Best.Movie.Kiss.Ever.
Sound of Music. A, Julie Andrews. B, Captain Von Trapp was kinda hot.
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Vampire Diaries, for the sassy dialogue and the cute boys. Just don’t ask me about the plot. I lost track of what was happening, like five dopplegangers ago.
True Detective. Last season was deliciously creepy and I am beyond excited for Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn.
Absolutely Fabulous. I could watch this forever. I want to take Patsy and Edina to Target.
Any award show in which celebrities wear evening gowns and talk too much about what they’re wearing. Bonus if there’s drinking.
Any cooking show in which Gordan Ramsay screams at people. He’s good at that. He’s like the opposite of Dr. Phil. They should host a show together, I’d totally watch that.
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Kevin Spacey
Emeril
Richard Linklater
Patsy and Edina
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Take a cooking class in Florence.
Join the Polar Bear club. Sure, it’s not as sexy as the Mile High club, but nobody can fit into airplane bathrooms anymore. Plus, who doesn’t like polar bears?
Visit Napa. With Patsy and Edina. Possibly in conjunction with the trip to Target. Do they allow Targets in Napa? Probably not, which is too bad because, personally, I would love to do a wine tasting AND pick up a gallon of milk at the same place.
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Hmmm. Tricky question, I don’t actually like to shop. I’m more of a shop online and pray it fits because I don’t have time to shop anywhere I can’t also buy milk (see above) kinda gal.
The Gap for jeans. Although every time I find a pair I love, they discontinue it. Rude.
Charming Charlie’s. Yes, I am an accessories whore. And the entire place is color-coordinated. Every time I walk in, I’m overwhelmed by the desire to buy a giant yellow purse. I don’t even like the color yellow. Either their merchandising is that good, or I’m a retail sheep.
Central Market. Y’all probably don’t have these, but they are kind of like a cheaper, Texas version of Whole Foods. I have a problem buying organic apples for ten bucks a pound, so Central Market is more my style. The entire store smells like good coffee and hatch chiles. Yum.
Does Amazon count? Because the other day, I ordered a new book, a temporary window shade and a twelve pack of magic gloves and got them in two days. That was pretty cool.
Target. ‘Nuff said.
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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
Gone with the Wind. Scarlett O’Hara was the original feminist and Rhett Butler the original dark-haired smartass. Sigh.
Jane Eyre. She had spunk, he had a hidden sense of humor behind the “tall, dark and stormy” exterior. This book could totally kick Wuthering Heights’ ass.
The Witching Hour. Anne Rice at her best. Sexy, dark and compelling.
Graveminder by Melissa Marr. I loved this book so much the first time I read it, that I read it over again immediately. Love the subtle gothic creepiness with a dash of sexy.
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I am super flexible. Yet terrible at gymnastics.
Every Thanksgiving, I try to eat an olive just to see if I like them yet. Every year I spit it out.
I am really, really good at guessing celebrity voice over talent.
My fingernails grow really fast. But I like them really short. It’s a constant struggle.
I make a mean chocolate mousse.
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I love my family dearly, but I don’t want them stranded on the island with me, because I’d worry about them. And if I’m stuck on an island, I should at least enjoy myself, right?
Vince Vaughn
Colin Firth
Colin Farrell
Any of the cute boys from the Vampire Diaries, provided, of course that they don’t try to explain the plot to me. Because I don’t really care.
Pitbull. He could write a song about the whole thing. I’d provide the rapping backup, naturally.
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Hey Now — London Grammar
Respect — Aretha Franklin
She Sells Sanctuary — The Cult
Day-O — Harry Belafonte
Do You Know What it Means to Miss New Orleans?
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Pasta
Wine (it comes from grapes, people)
Dark chocolate
Croissants
The peanut butter pie from Heaven on Seven in Chicago. It is life-changing.
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Either Joseph Morgan or a young Alan Rickman.
Common
Michael Pena
Ian Sommerhalder
Mary-Louise Parker
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Mean people
Rude people
Open closet doors. Because if you leave the closet door open, the monsters that live inside can get out. Duh.
Dog hair on my tights.
Mosquitoes. I know pet peeves aren’t supposed to be an entire class of insect, but trust me on this one, they are annoying and serve no purpose. Pet peeve.
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Reading
Writing
Cooking
Cooking while drinking wine and reading trashy OK magazines. This is like ten things all in one, because it’s harder than you might think to sautee garlic, keep up with the Kardashians and toss back Merlot.
What are your 5 favorite websites?
Televisionwithoutpity, RIP.
Thebloggess.com
foodtv.com
theonion.com
cnn.com
What 5 items can you not live without?
Books
Lipstick
warm socks
Mystere perfume
Wine